Week 6: Kim Kusturin Young and Middle Age

Early adulthood is definitely a transition time.  It is a time many, like myself, thought I knew more than I did and I thought I’d be young for a lot longer than I was.  I blinked and now I have a child who is entering her early adulthood.  As the book states, there are many rites of passages (208).  I participated in a few of these myself like Confirmation and graduation, I had a sweet sixteen party, voted, got my license and a new car at 16.  I also got a job, had a baby and got married.  I did go to community college but stopped when I had my first child.  Only now am I able to continue where I started.  Thank God, I took classes here and there while I was raising my children.  I’d hate to be “just” starting right now.  One thing I found interesting was organ reserve.  I had no idea that that was even a thing.  

My daughter and I are currently going through a period of lifestyle health (211).  My daughter is becoming a big health nut.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with this at all.  My problem is that she works two jobs and no bills, is off this semester from nursing school and she wants ME to buy all her Trader Joe’s, Mariano’s, Whole Foods and organic foods.  If it is tempting to her she asks (or insists) that we do not buy it.  Now I love my daughter, but I have my limits.  Diet and nutrition is essential during this time in one’s life.  Being fit is a plus as well as a young adult and for those in middle adulthood (234-235).  Once again, I love my daughter, but if she tries to guilt me into going to the gym with her one more time, so help me.  She is young and has time.  I have only really been watching my health and fitness seriously the past few years.  It is important and I do fit it in what I can.  Working full time and school full time does not give me much free time.  I was a typical youth, I guess.  I drank, I smoked.  Both of which I do not do anymore.  My daughter, who is almost 20 has also drank but says she will never smoke.  There is so much out there for all to see the negative effects of alcohol, smoking and drugs are for your health. 

At this stage, young adults not only grow physically but cognitively as well.  Theoretically, young adults process knowledge and life experiences more than when they were adolescents.  Piaget says that over time (215) we develop successful strategies in planning and testing ideas.  Gender also begins to play a role in the development of a young adult.  Things are different from when I was this age as was it for my mother and grandmothers and so on.  Gender roles and identity have become religious and political issues more than ever.  It’s everywhere.  Gone are the days of Ricky and Lucy sleeping in separate beds on their TV show even though they were married and expecting their first child. 

As the semester goes on and the more I read about Erikson’s theories, the more id have to say he is my favorite one.  I mostly agree with his theories and his stages of development are easily defined and understood.  His theory on intimacy I find very interesting (219-220).  It is not just physical intimacy.  It is about bonds created and the sacrifices one makes to keep those bonds with people or to end them.  At the same time, I found the Love Stories by Robert Sternberg (220) interesting and odd at the same time. I can totally see the first two “stories” to be a normal take on love but as well as the business story but I am not at all on board with the horror or the pornography stories. 

Marriage and Family.  I totally agree with the book that in the early years’ marriage and family was thought upon differently than it is today.  Then we had The Brady Bunch and now we have the Kardashians.  I was a little surprised to see that there are still 95% of people who will marry at some point in their lives.  In today’s world, I would have thought that percent to be much lower.  I would have thought there would be more cohabitation as the book states versus marriages.  To me, too many people do not respect marriage and its importance.  That too can be blamed on family dynamic, Hollywood and/or lack of religion.  

As we get older our bodies change.  Some will go to extensive lengths, mostly woman (Joan Rivers, Meg Ryan) to slow that process down.  But you get the occasional man like John Travolta.  This definitely doesn’t give me anything to look forward to.  I have a feeling the rest of this book will be quite depressing for me.  Chapter 10 seems to start out with the doom and gloom of middle adulthood.  And I am very aware of thigs that happen in late adulthood and beyond.  I found Erikson’s theory of Generativity and Stagnation (244) to be true.  I agree that there are many people do not contribute to society as many others do.  I have strong views on this and in my eyes, there are more stagnant people versus generative.  I feel that had much to do with family, the economy, politics and laws.  For some religion may also be a factor.  But that is just my opinion on Erikson’s theory. 

Table 10.4 (250) Proactive Stress Reduction is by Dr. John Dacey.  I read up about him after reading this section of the book. 

All his books are based on the four-step method he originated to teach children to reduce anxiety, which goes by the acronym COPE: calm the nervous system, originate creative plans to relieve anxiety, persist in the face of obstacles and failure, and evaluate success to adjust the plan accordingly. The UU World website states that Dacey has dealt with anxiety his whole life. In 1957, a fire destroyed his family home taking the lives of his mother, two brothers, and two sisters.  He was 20 and the oldest of nine children, and was in Rhode Island in the Navy at the time of their deaths.  He was filled grief and guilt.  He wrote many books about anxiety, that I may have to read.  Both my younger daughter and myself have been diagnosed with anxiety.  The web site goes on to say “All of his books are based on the four-step method he originated to teach children to reduce anxiety, which goes by the acronym COPE: calm the nervous system, originate creative plans to relieve anxiety, persist in the face of obstacles and failure, and evaluate success to adjust the plan accordingly. He offers practical exercises for children and families to do together that combine physical, mental, and spiritual antidotes to anxiety.”